week 13

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Vroeger had je het tijdschrift De Lach. Met foto’s van fraai gesculptuurde dames in hooggesloten badpakken. Soms zelfs, héél pikant en bijna pornografisch, in bikini die behalve de buste het complete middenrif besloeg. Aantrekkelijk waren ook filmsterren in een bloesje waarvan de bovenste twee (!) knoopjes los waren. Thuis was het lezen van De Lach streng verboden. Ik had het stiekem onder mijn hoofdkussen liggen waarbij ik wél moest oppassen, dat ik niet werd gesnapt. Those were the days…

Gelukkig had de kapper ze ook liggen, maar natuurlijk vooral – net als bij de huidige Playboy – om de verhalen. Dús was het gelegitimeerd om daar open & bloot quasi-nonchalant in te bladeren. Waarbij je als opgroeiende puber wél het risico liep dat de barbier je terecht wees:”Dit is nog geen spekkie voor jouw bekkie. Neem jij de Robbedoes maar.”

In De Lach trokken ook mij de pin-ups, zoals ze toen heetten, maar meer nog de piepkleine advertentietjes met een primitief tekeningetje van een kaal & dikkerig mannetje met een grote bril op. Die bril zond kruislings getekende zogeheten X-stralen uit, waarmee het menneke – ook dat was uitermate knullig getekend – dwars door de kleding van een meisje kon kijken. Zo’n bril wilde ik, opgroeiende puber, ook hebben. Ik ging er voor sparen. Maar van aanschaf is het nooit gekomen. Al gauw ging de praktijk voor de theorie. Toch is die X-stralen-röntgenbril me – onbewust? – altijd bijgebleven.

Ik moest er onlangs weer aan denken toen ik een verhaal las over een nieuwe ‘Droombril’, die in de media werd omschreven als een ‘comfortabel slaapmaskertje waarmee je je door middel van opflikkerende lampjes de mooiste dromen eigen kunt maken.’ Iedereen kan leren zo’n Droombril efficiënt te gebruiken, is door experts in Amerika al proefondervindelijk vastgesteld. Maar je moet er eerst veel mee oefenen om tot een goed resultaat te komen. De meest ‘gewenste’ dromen gaan, zo las ik verder, over vliegen en, wat dacht u dan?, seks. Als je echt mooie dromen wilt krijgen, wordt door experts aanbevolen om het halve of hele uur even wakker te worden. Om je weer op mooie dromen te concentreren. Je kunt, zo las ik verder, zelf zo’n droommasker maken. Kopen kan ook, al voor minder dan 100 euro. Ik overweeg om dat te doen. Lekker dromen, wie wil dat nou niet? Maar ik denk dat mijn vrouw toch liever heeft dat ik me een snurkmasker aanschaf.

Henk Hendriks

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